Can't wait to see you

Month 6

2008-01-13T23:14:00.000+08:00

You are 6 months old today.
Some picture taken by Pa & Ma:

Picture taken by your uncle Ryan:

You are now able to (or some earlier):

say Papa

hold head steady when upright (by 4 months)

on stomach, raise chest, supported by arms

roll over

squeal in delight

reach for an abject

pay attention to a very small object

smile spontaneously

turn in the direction of voice

work to get a toy out of reach

babble or combining vowels

pull mommy's hair

try to remove mommy's spectacles

pull and twist papa's ears or nose

like to reach for mommy's lips during feeding

suck your own toe

fake crying every time you see papa so that he carries you

cry when people you are not familiar with carry you

fake coughing to get attention (tks to Kai ma Sue)

un-stick your diaper

I still can't believe time passed by so fast that we've met and have you for 6 months now.
You have definitely bring joy and happiness...

By the sea...

2008-01-12T21:29:00.000+08:00

Today,
you wore a bikini for the first time,
you were at the beach for the first time,
you had the sea breeze brushed thru your face for the first time
you felt the texture of the sand for the first time,
you smelled the scent of the sea for the first time,
you saw the horses' face close enough that you could smell it's breath for the first time,
you had the parachute flew over your head for the first time,
you were in the swimming pool with Pa for the first time,
you tasted a little ice-cream for the first time.

Today,
sky was blue,
water was green,
sand was golden.

Today,

everyone is by the beach,

your little friend Cayden, Jordan, Aaron, auntie Linna & uncle Sam, auntie Peggy & uncle Daryl, Kim, Leng Lui Po Po & ah Kung...

Your first word

2008-01-06T00:12:00.000+08:00

Your first word?
Of course calling Papa - your favorite person on earth.
The person you have a huge smile on your face every time you see.
Your Pa was so so happy and overjoy the moment you called him. This seriously came as a surprise for us on this hot Sunday afternoon.
You have just made his day baby.
He feels so proud that the first word you said is calling for him, ya not even me...but i think Pa definitely deserve it.
Can't wait for you to start talking now as I can't wait to know what you think of me as a mom...

A night out

2007-12-30T01:11:00.000+08:00

A night out with Kai Ma, uncle Blair and uncle Damian along Batu Ferringhi Walk.
Night market is cool and buying pirated DVD is exiting...

Your 1st christmas

2007-12-28T00:00:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas my cutie pie... muah ..muah...kisses all over your face from mommy!

This is our first Christmas with you, we had you as our best gift ever!
Plus your kai ma Sue and uncle Blair are here to make this day a more than a perfect day.

I was actually quite surprise how both of you just got along so well.

You didn't cry nor make a fuss like how you would normally do when you met her.

I'm proud how you behave today. Happy, cheerful, played and did your own thing. You are a totally cool babe!

Ma Sue and uncle Blair cooked Christmas lunch for all of us and we went to the Little India in the afternoon. You seem very amazed with all the activities and music that was going on down there.

It was totally a nice and pleasant day today, specially with you around.

Pa & ma had picked a typical classic Christmas gift for you.

Actually we let you choose between a reindeer soft toy and this snow globe, and you seems to be more exited when you saw the globe, so we decided to go with this snow globe.

So, here you go, your 1st Christmas gift from mom & dad...

No more drool

2007-12-23T23:47:00.000+08:00

Chinese believes that by holding this little ceremony on the 100th days of the baby's life:

1. with biscuits

where you hang a bunch of biscuit around baby's neck, so that they could go on and lick and take a bite on the biscuit, the mother will then have to eat those biscuits, the baby will stop drooling (WOW...no more bibs)

2. with drumstick

prepare and cook drumstick to make it the most delicious, let the baby taste and lick the drumstick, the baby will not have any problem while teething, and from this day onwards they can start to go on and become a carnivore, meaning they can start to have meat in their diet, they have more choice in food from this day onwards (WOW)

Mommy didn't hold this little ceremony for you.

Main reason is: I don't believe in this and I don't think I could relate this to any scientific and medical facts.

However, you do have a chance to take part in this too because auntie Peggy was holding one for Cayden and so happen we visited. So, you got the chance to wear the biscuits chain and licked the biscuits with Cayden's saliva on it. Yes, you hear me right, haha. You were really fast and greedy while licking and biting on those little biscuits. But you don't like the drumstick part, you started crying and got cranky.

Guess what, you are still drooling big time weeks after borrowing and taking part in Cayden's ceremony.
This is fun. Thanks to anutie Peggy & Cayden.

Sleeping with toy

2007-12-23T23:16:00.000+08:00

Caught you holding one of your favorite toy while sleeping.
That is one of your favorite toy bough for you by Da Ee.

You cherish and love your toys now, but when you grow older, you will learn to cherish something more valuable - MEMORIES

Weekend getaway

2007-12-23T23:03:00.000+08:00

We went back to see Ah kong and Ah ma during the weekend.
You were surrounded by all your cousins.

You seem to be enjoying your stay quite a fair bit as you were being carried by so many people in the house to places where you were busy looking and observing many activities and different sounds all over the place.

Gift from Kai Ma Sue

2007-12-16T23:04:00.000+08:00

Kai Ma Sue brought you lot's of really nice & meaningful gifts this trip.

1. Nice and special photo album that Kai Ma Sue specially hand picked all the accessories and made personally for you. Mommy think it is really unique and meaningful. It is the nicest baby scrap book I've seen.

2. This little Picture Me book:

3. A treasure tin which we could keep your foot print forever but I've help you ruined it on Christmas day as we were having lunch and I totally forgot about the clay that I had mixed 30 mins ago and it has became totally harden when uncle Blair reminded me. So sorry kiddo. Mommy apologise. My fault.

4. Tons of new clothes to last you until the next Christmas:

A weekend with you

2007-12-16T22:03:00.000+08:00

You seems like you've grown a fair bit when mommy took you home this week.

Totally in good and playing mood.
You were laughing out loud so hard every time I said: naughty girl...bad...bad...bad...

I am just not sure how exactly does funny expression and our tone is working for you right now or what you've heard exactly as it surely sounded so amusing to you and you were laughing at the same sentence I said for like 15 mins, amazing...

But you might started to think what a complete idiot I was when you look back 10-15 years from now.

A weekend with you always just passed by so quick before I even realising it.

Looking at your face that is as pure as the spring water make me feel clam.

And it is always the simple time we share that make mommy feel most happy.

Mr. Sun

2007-12-05T23:52:00.000+08:00

Your number one favorite toy - Mr. Sun.

I guess mommy can come out with 10 reasons why you like Mr. Sun so much is:

1. easy to hold for your tiny little fingers

2. bright colors

3. different textures which is ideal for teething

4. it rattles about when shaken

5. there is a moving nose

6. it is called Mr. Sun when it looks like a flower

7. it is a gift

8. you go places with Mr. Sun

arr...arr...I fail. I can't think of any reason anymore. I'm just not really full of crap.

will add in when I have more reason for you...hee...

9. ________________

10. ________________

Standing tall & high

2007-12-02T00:51:00.000+08:00

Pa & Ma,

I'm standing tall and high,

I want to be somebody when I grow up and give back to the society.

I believe I can fly...

I believe I can touch the sky...

....er...how do we sing that song again?

Morning Babe!

2007-11-25T23:15:00.000+08:00

Here is your new sleeping pattern lately.

You keep changing the way you sleep.

Tummy down this time. You do sleep longer sleeping like this.

There I was eyeing on you as you woke up. Both mom & Pa pretend to be still sleeping and you were silent and quite doing your own thing, sucking your own fingers and droll like a waterfall and this silent moment were broke into laughter the moment I said "Good morning Babe!"

Bundle of joy

2007-11-24T23:29:00.000+08:00

A hot Saturday afternoon, you fell asleep in my arm.

I have always like holding you to sleep in my arm.

Here I am, a happy mom with her bundle of JOY...

Sleeping with bolster

2007-11-18T22:41:00.000+08:00

Mommy noticed you have changed your sleeping pattern this week.
From lying flat on your back to sleeping on your side with the booster. You really love to hang on to the bolster.

It did looks like you are very comfortable sleeping like this.

4 Wheel Drive

2007-11-18T00:29:00.000+08:00

You rode on your 4 wheel drive today. You were so excited.

Every sounds that comes from your vehicle make you raised your eyebrow...

Not bad for your first ride, you drive like a Chinese from China, honking all the way. Way to go baby......

Present from uncle Kevin and auntie Ai Ling.

Sleeping Pattern

2007-11-14T10:35:00.000+08:00

I was going thru your photo and saw this similarity in your sleeping pattern.

You tend to like to place your hand near your chin and on your chest, way when you were in the womb.

Ain't funny

2007-11-11T23:58:00.000+08:00

Renee: are you trying to crack a joke with me?! Well, it ain't funny...try harder dude!!

Big bully

2007-11-11T00:08:00.000+08:00

You've been very bad today.

Kakak Puwanti is helping me & Pa to baby sit you while we were out having dinner with Ah Kong. Instead of going to bed after your milky time, you have decided to turn into a monster and bullied her. You insisted that she carried you and walked around the house. You started to cry and scream the moment she put you down.
It was so tiring for her that she has no choice but to put you in her kangaroo pouch (as seen in the pic) while you were happily watching Tom & Jerry with Shaun ko ko & Vanessa che che. I was told that you even laughed along. It is so strange cause I don't think you would understand what is going on yet.
You then fell asleep after an hour plus!

You were real bad.
You big bully!

Life after You

2007-11-10T01:24:00.000+08:00

A friend shared the below article with me which I couldn't agree more, a beautiful note that reflect life changing experience after having you that mommy will never look back or trade with any other thing in the world.

20 things that change when you have a baby

Everyone warns you that having a baby will change your life.
Sure, you'll have less money (and sleep), and a lot more responsibility.
But when the centre of your universe shifts to your new baby, there's much to celebrate too:

• You discover an inner strength you never realised you had.

• You accept that the last 15 pregnancy pounds you can't seem to shift are absolutely worth it.

• You don't need a clock any more - your baby now sets your daily schedule.

• You respect and love your own parents in a new way.

• Any pain your baby suffers feels much worse than your own.

• You don't mind going to bed at 9pm on a Friday night.

• Your heart breaks much more easily.

• You discover how much there is to say about one little baby tooth.

• You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.
• You're no longer disgusted by babies' bodily functions - in fact, you're fascinated by them (hooray, a poo!)
• The sacrifices you thought you'd made to have a baby no longer seem that big a deal.
• You respect your body ... finally.
• You realise that a baby's comforter has magical powers!
• You give parents with a screaming baby an "I-know-the-feeling" look, instead of a "Can't-they-shut-him-up?" one.
• You make time for one more baby hug and kiss, even if it means you'll be late.

• You realise that it's possible to love a complete stranger.
• You learn that taking a shower is a luxury, never mind a trip to the hairdresser's.
• You finally get to speak to the shy neighbour in your street, because you've got a baby in your arms.
• You find that things that once seemed important are now meaningless.
• Every day is a surprise.

Crowning Glory

2007-11-05T21:59:00.000+08:00

Renee: Envy of my hair?

This is how to get hair to look as nice as mine.
Drink lots of milk and do hair mask twice a week.

Parenting

2007-11-04T10:36:00.000+08:00

Father at work Vs. Mother at work

Twin?

2007-10-30T00:54:00.000+08:00

Renee: Mom told me I have a twin sister. Do you think we look alike?

Got it!

2007-10-28T00:59:00.000+08:00

Gosh, some meat got stucked in between my teeth.
It's irritating!
I got to remove it.

Got it!!
I'm a happy baby now.

You

2007-10-26T22:50:00.000+08:00

Me: Hey, if you have to choose between me & Renee, who would you choose?
Twain: I want both.
Me: No, to answer this question, you can only choose one.
Twain: You!

(Have doubt but accept the answer with a little smile.)

Me: Ask me the same question I asked you.
Twain: Ok. If you have to choose between me & Renee, who would you choose?
Me: RENEE!!

Ma & Pa both laughed out loud.

YOU! Of course it's you!
And I'm sure your Pa answer me over you just to shut my mouth from complaining: 'oh, so after all I have gone thru, everything is Renee now, what about me'...bla...bla...bla...the shit goes on...

2nd Government Injection

2007-10-17T22:43:00.000+08:00

I fell sick so your father took you this time.
You were always friendly and will usually give huge smile easily but you cried when this lady in the white uniform showed up in front of you today. Mommy can't help but laughed imagining it when your father told me.
The injection went well but you did screamed and yelled a little.
No fever, and you are now 6.1KG...wow...you really grow baby!

You did it...

2007-10-15T21:55:00.000+08:00

You hold your bottle by yourself, ya, you did it with your own hands.
You were able to do this a while back but only for a very short while but tonight, you were holding the bottle and sucked on it for a long time like you finally know how it works.
Great! So mommy don't have to hold it for you anymore plus you have better control if you were to hold it for yourself.
Way to go kiddo...

Sucker

2007-10-09T12:59:00.000+08:00

You are down with flu.
Coughing, phlegm, running nose, blocked nose you name it all.
You have problem breathing properly and that annoyed you and disturbed your sleep.
A nose sucker or a more appropriate term: nose cleaner is here to help, big help actually.
After each time your Pa help you to clear your nose, you would smiled and looked totally relief and happy.
So, this is one of a MUST HAVE for any parents out there.
Highly recommended as it really helped clear and remove lots of mucous and that makes our little one feeling so much better in seconds.

Right:
- made in Japan
- can get in any department store
- RM 13.90
- suction easily control
- mucous is trapped in the clear bottle where we can see
- mucous won't flow back
Left:
- locally made
- can get in any hospital or pharmacy
- RM 6.50
- stronger suction as there is no room for air
- can't see and observe the mucous

Conclusion: Both are good in their own way.

Sunshine

2007-10-08T00:03:00.000+08:00

My little sunshine!

Look at that chickadee huge smile.

Your smile melt my heart.

You made me want to huuuug you, squeeeze you and kiiiiss yooou...

You make my day, today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and many many more tomorrow to come.

Living Laughing Buddha

2007-10-07T23:52:00.000+08:00

Buddha said that everyone is born a Buddha.

HE is absolutely right!

You baby, is mommy & Papa 's living Laughing Buddha...
(muah..muah...kiss kiss on the right and on the left cheeks)

Doo doo

2007-10-07T23:42:00.000+08:00

Renee is doing her BIG business...

Nggggg....huh....nggggg...huh...1 more...ngggg....done....oooh....nice

I need a warm bath now.

Singh

2007-10-07T23:32:00.000+08:00

Renee: Ma, please don't make me wear a turban if i don't want to....

Not a hair cream

2007-09-30T00:29:00.000+08:00

Renee: Mom, look at me!! My hair is all sticking up now! Told you that's not my usual hair treatment cream!

Piggy: Muu Muu

2007-09-29T23:58:00.000+08:00

See what I have bought you today?

It's a piggy pillow.

This pillow is really nice, it is made from a very light weight material.

Soft to touch and really nice to hold.

Auntie Linna specially recommended it as she has lots of these pillows in many many shapes, colors and other character at home. Auntie Peggy bought a Seal for Cayden too.

I named it: Muu Muu

So here you go, adding another family member in your cot.

Out for walk

2007-09-22T22:00:00.000+08:00

A warm afternoon and nothing much to do at home, we decided to take you out for a walk.
This is your first stroller ride.

You were looking at the surrounding non-stop.

How do you like it?
We promise to take you out for walk more often because mommy kind of enjoy doing this with you a lot.

Papa's 1st birthday with you

2007-09-16T22:58:00.000+08:00

It's your Pa's birthday today.

He turned 35 this year. Other than his huge hanging belly, I have nothing else to complaint.

Mommy has been asking him what he wanted for his birthday?
He said he has got the greatest gift on earth, and that's you.
He wanted to just spent the whole day with you and me, the 2 most loved women in his life as he claimed (hope that stay unchanged forever :D).
And we did. We were all in Da Ee's house over the weekend. Grandma is here too.

Doing nothing in particular but watching you sleep, play and coo. You have started to kick & box so hard, cooing and have a full smile every time you were tease on the cheeks and chin.
We had a really simple dinner at Sri Nibong and cake cutting at Da Ee's place. You sat on Papa's shoulder for a few second while wishing him.

We had our 2nd family photo taken and a family photo do feel more complete and looks so much more jolly with you in it.

It's raining the whole weekend.
Weather was really windy and cold while it was so nice to cuddle you feeling Warm and Content.

Papa's birthday gift from mom: a Montblanc wallet

Papa's birthday gift from you: your smile, your kiss, you sitting on his shoulder

1st Government Injection

2007-09-12T16:06:00.000+08:00

You had your 1st government Injection today.
You cried just for a few second trying to unwind (I guess) and fell asleep in PoPo's arm in the next second.
The nurse weighed you again today. You are 5.5kg now.
We were worried that you might had fever after the jap. But you were fine. We called PoPo in the afternoon and went checked on you at night again.
No fever. Smiley face. Mommy can sleep now.

Double chin

2007-09-08T14:03:00.000+08:00

Renee, you have seriously grown so much.

You have put on weight and have huge double chin that is worrying but Papa says you look gorgeous anyway :D

Can't imagine how fast a baby could change.

Priceless Quilt

2007-09-03T22:36:00.000+08:00

You’ve got lots of gifts from friends and families, but there is one that is priceless – Po po’s handmade quilt!
When I said handmade, I really meant HANDMADE, no machine at all, threat by threat.
I’ve seen Po Po sewed this piece by piece way before I had you and this is definitely priceless. You can’t get it from Harrods nor Ebay. This quilt is the one and only on earth. This quilt is classic.
I love it a lot and hope you like as much as I do. You are going to bring it with you wherever you go, specially if you go living abroad. You did not just bring a piece of cloth that will keep you warm, what you brought with you is family value, tradition and love from Po Po.

Quilt & Buttercup

2007-09-03T22:20:00.000+08:00

Gifts from Ta Ku Ma Tisha.

A personal quilt with your name on it and a doll I called Buttercup.

These gifts are sweet.

Sending my precious away

2007-08-20T23:54:00.000+08:00

Today is the day we sent you to the baby sitter who is staying about 6 km away from our home. I know I will never do enough explaining to you about why you are sent to the baby sitter instead of me taking care of you.

The baby sitter is in her 60s. All the kids refer to her as PoPo (婆婆）

You slept with a sweet face and woke up only at 11 AM this morning. Ya, it was a record. You smiled at both of us and behaved so well that make mommy feel so guilty sending you to PoPo's place. We were so attempted to keep you for another day but we sent you there any way after your Pa bathe you.

It felt like you are going to Alaska, to other space. It felt like you will be somewhere so far and I can never see you again.
I sat at the corner of the bed watching you closely and carefully after I had dressed you. Smelling and kissing every part of your body. Tears started to scroll down my face. I wanted to keep the image of you in my mind every second.

PoPo waited for your arrival at her car porch and welcomed you with open arms. She carried you into her house which is full of babies and other older kids. You have so many new friends now, total of 8 other kids.

We came back to a home without you. I felt so empty and heart broken. We just left you there and are already missing you so terribly. I guess the very first thing I would look forward to on each new day from now on is to see you, to hold you tight and kiss your rosy cheek again and again.

1st short trip

2007-08-17T22:49:00.000+08:00

You took your 1st trip to Padang Besar today. It's about 2 hours plus journey. We all went back to see Ah Kong (公公). He is the only one who hasn't see you in person. Ah Ma（婆婆）carry you in her arms wrapped with a pink blanket throughout the whole journey. You didn't make any noise nor cry. You slept all the way, making this whole trip pleasant and easy :)

Weather: cooling and a little rain

1st check-up

2007-08-13T16:24:00.000+08:00

Today you had your 1st check up at the Batu Ferringhi Government Clinic just a few min from home.
You were registered and measured.
No jap this round, yay!
My baby girl has grown and put on some weight.
You are 4.5kg now :D

Full Moon

2007-08-12T01:29:00.000+08:00

Today is your full moon.
Meaning you are a month old now, and I can finally wash my hair after 1 month, yes you hear me right, 1 month not washing my hair is disastrous!

And in Chinese tradition, on your full moon, you took a bath in a tub filled with flowers (don't know what it is for) , some stone (be brave) and a Keris (for courage).
All things from the womb are considered dirty. So we got to clip your nails and cut your hair and that represent a new beginning.
Your Pa bathe you in the morning and we dressed you in our dress and took you out for a ride, coz after today you are free to go anywhere.

We had relatives over for dinner Sat night. Lao Ma who is 102 years old was here too.
Ah Kong came from Kuching & aunt Tisha came from KL. We had our first family photo taken.

Close family friends : aunt Peggy, Linna, Fanne, Pei, Jess, Karen and the rest of the usual gang were here to celebrate with us on Sun for lunch. Aunt Annie was not in town.
Ah Ma & Da Ee were here too.

You are a little bigger now compared to when I first saw you few weeks ago.
I think it will be so soon that you will start to run around...can't wait to see you grow up.
See that huge belly on aunty Peggy? You will have a friend real soon.

Our little dress

2007-08-11T23:50:00.000+08:00

This used to be mommy's dress.
Now it is your dress.
This is our little dress.

Photoshoot

2007-08-08T13:09:00.000+08:00

Here are some pics your uncle Ryan took for you when you were sleeping...

Papa and you

2007-08-06T13:20:00.000+08:00

Everyone reakon you and Papa don't look alike at all, you don't look like anyone from the Tay family at all, not a single bit...I have to agree with them too. The Tay family has admitted that the Tang's family gene are more dominant no doubt it looks like the Tay's gene is going to be more dominant from all aspect.

Most people think you look like your uncle Ryan, some say you look like mommy.

Ah Ma and Ee Ee think you look just like me when I was your age now.

So, it was announced that the Tang's win this round (Tang 1: Tay 0)
The decision is made by all members in Tay's family except your Papa (muah ha..ha..)

3 weeks old

2007-08-04T23:41:00.000+08:00

Picture auntie Lilian took for you when she came for a visit.

You will be one month old in 1 week time.

Your arrival

2007-07-22T21:04:00.000+08:00

Renee Melanie Tay
13th Jul 2007

Weight: 2.9 kg

Lenght: 50 cm

Here you are!!

Finally, finally we meet you in person.

You are so tiny.

Tiny little hands, tiny little feet, tiny little lips, ears, nose, eyes....everything is so tiny. You little precious are perfect!

Here is what occurred the day mommy had you:

2:30 - 3 am:

Woke up from sleep. It was the first time ever I'm having this feeling around my belly.

Feeling of cramp and uneasy. Pa is snoring as we just went to bed not long ago.

3 - 4 am:

Can't really fall back to sleep as the cramp continued. Remember auntie Linna's description on contraction. She said it feels just like a serious period pain. Oh my God, mine felt just like period pain now. Am I having contraction? Pa was still snoring. Didn't want to wake him up as he has not been sleeping really well lately being on standby mode waiting for your arrival.

4 - 5 am:

Kept waking up because the slight cramp continues.

Went to pee not knowing whether I wished to see if there is any show (blood stain) or not.

But no sign of show. Phew...

5 - 6 am:

Went to pee again. Felt a slight expand on the pelvic bone but not sure if it was what I thot it was.

There was blood stain this time! Gees...you have finally decided to give a little sign. Ok, this is The day then I think. Went checked on our 'superbag' (that have everything we need for the hospital stay during delivery). Done. Everything is in.

7 am:

Took a warm bath, washed my hair and changed. Woke Pa up and told him I'm already having contraction and blood stain. His eyes went big and asked me to repeat what I just told him. I repeated and he stood up from bed right away wanted to go to the hospital immediately.

I didn't want to go as yet because I think it is not going to be so fast plus our check up was at 10am.

8 - 9am:

Made smoothies and had the left over spaghetti as breakfast.

9 - 10am:

Heading down to the hospital. Felt calm and not panic surprisingly.

11 am:

Took your heartbeat test in the labour ward. If there is still no dilation or any sign of delivery and your heartbeat is stable and well, we can go home. Can you believe we were still allow to go home. I can't!

11:40am:

Felt warm liquid flew from between my legs while lying on the bed still doing the heartbeat test. Thot I had bladder problem that I couldn't hold my urine during my last stage of pregnancy. But the liquid keep flowing down. Nurse confirmed that my water bag just broke. We need to check-in immediately. We were not going home. We were finally going to meet you today. But the midwife predicted that it will be after 6pm when you make your entrance. Sweet Lord, another 6 more hours to go!

1 - 2pm:

Pa finished doing all the registration. Now, there was nothing all of us can do except waiting for you. Contraction goes on. The pain was still bearable. Nurse kept checking on us. We were doing well.

2 - 3pm:

Still waiting. I was listening to the songs from my phone. Can't read, can't really concentrate.

Counted from 1 - 50, then started all over again. Doctor came checked on us on and off. Contraction continues. The pain was still bearable. If this is as bad as it gets, I think can handle this. Pa was beside waiting with us. Nothing can be done except kept waiting.

3 - 4pm:

I was started to feel I wanted this over soon as I needed something better to do other than waiting in pain. Nurses and midwife kept monitoring our progress. I was offered a last chance to eat. No way I could eat at moment like this. Who can actually eat? Offer me the most delicious food on earth and I still couldn't put it in my month.
Pa was reading his novel while waiting.

4 - 5pm:

Oww...the pain was at the scale of 7 now I think. The contraction was more frequent now. The pain was damn f****** hurting now. I was offered this gas which I must inhaled everytime I felt the pain. It was suppose to help lighten the pain and make the pain more bearable. And wow, I love this gas. It makes you high. Love it, love it for moment like this. I felt stone and that was good!

5 - 6pm:

The pain continues. Felt like you were trying to push yourself out. Thot you were coming out soon as the midwife predicted that you will be here sometime around after 6pm.

She came in and checked on us again and thot you won't be out anytime soon. It might be another 2 to 3 hours. Holy God! I was thinking she must be kidding right, what do you mean by another few hours. What were you doing in there. Aren't you eager to see us? Is this what human race do? Does animal feels this pain that we going thru?

6- 7pm:

Doc came checked on us. Other than your head is tilted to one side which will make pushing you out hard, everything else was good. The pain came and go on a more frequent basis now. The pain got longer now and I was still counting from 1, 2, 3, 4....owww....deep breathed...deep breathed, inhaled on my favorite gas. Stone and felt high is good now. I was feeling high and dreamy. And that felt good!

The pushing part kicked in here. I was asked to push everytime I had contraction. I was still concentrating on the gas. That helped me forgot the pain.

You still refused to push your way thru. Everyone in the team were in the labour room now. Talking and laughing, like I was not in pain and not fighting for my life...I'm still pushing, hello.

7 - 8pm:

This part was the real shit as I was really concentrating on really pushing you out. 1 nurse, 1 midwife, the doctor and Pa were there with us since earlier. I was asked to really pushed and hold, not to let go if I can to prevent you from going back to the initial position. During this phase, my contractions grew shorter so I couldn't push you effectively. Doc suggested an option - vacuum-assisted delivery due to your head was still tiled to one side. I agreed. In fact I would agree to whatever option they want to do with my body now. In another push, the doc asked me to push harder as they can see your hair. It's getting closer now I thot, yay...they can see your hair. You were finally one step closer to us. Pa could see your hair too. He was so delighted and keep cheering us to push harder too. The midwife suggested that I tried a few more pushes on my own before we op for the vacuum. Everyone in the room keep asking us to push harder...like a cheering team ...and we went push...push....yes...that's right...one more...harder, don't let go of your breath...yes...harder, a little bit more...and I don't know where the extra pushing power came from but I just pushed with all the breath I still have left and I heard doctor said here we go, she is out...you showed up finally...my baby was out!! You cried out loud right away without having to spank you. The nurse passed you to me, you looked a little like an alien I think but you are perfect! You are normal and well. Finally, it was proven that this is another case that fell into the false positive Triple test result stastic. And we felt so relieved.

9 pm:

After I carried and cuddled you, the nurse took you away for cleaning while doctor took about half an hour to do the necessary cleaning and stitch me up.

Approximately another half an hours later, the nurses came in and helped move us to the Mother Baby unit.

This pregnancy is quite a ride, the birth is more but if anyone were to ask me, I would tell you that anyone on earth can go thru labor because I have totally forgot about the pain I went thru the moment I saw my little sweetie pie.

Today marked the end of my pregnancy and the beginning of our new life with my little princess...

The day I had you

2007-07-22T20:44:00.000+08:00

This is the dress and perfume mommy were wearing on the morning I went to the hospital for our last check-up not knowing I would meet you in person on the same day.

Your Chinese Name

2007-07-21T15:53:00.000+08:00

Your Chinese name was proposed by a naming Guru.
We were given a list to choose from.
And 郑靓蓉 is what we have chosen.
I like this name the most compared to the rest.
So, here you go: 郑靓蓉小妹妹 you will be.

Voter for this name 4/4:
Mom
Papa
Po Po
Ta Ku ma

You are late

2007-07-12T00:08:00.000+08:00

Overdue: 3 days

You still did not make an appearance today so we did what any soon-to-be-parents would do, we cooked. Kai Ma Sue asked about your arrival again yesterday. She is now back in Perth. She reakon you wanted to wait until you are older to be a queen insted of just a princess. She might be right.

I cooked spaghetti while your Pa baked a chicken with rosemary and peach. He claimed that's his own recipe, and that chicken taste real goood...

We had your uncle Ryan, uncle Sam & auntie Linna dropped by for dinner.

I then had durian after dinner.

I want to eat all food before you came cause that's a smart thing to do I think.

Again, when are you coming? We are still waiting...

Anyway, mommy will need to go check on you in the hospital tomorrow morning.

Will see how it's gonna be then. Goodbye for now.

Kiss...kiss...

The Day

2007-07-09T23:55:00.000+08:00

Countdown: The Day - 9 Jul

Woke up in the morning and didn’t feel a thing. Not even a slight cramp on the stomach.
Gees… you really are not ready to meet us huh?
Pa dreamt that my water bag broke and I’m going to labor while I dreamt that I am going to Australia for holidays.

I have not feel a single sign that you will be here yet, so me & Kai Ma Sue went shopping at Gurney Plaza the whole afternoon. We went to the night market outside too. Walking around with you inside me is a challenge now. It's tiring plus you should look at people’s face when they found out you are due today and you will be here anytime.

Kai Ma Sue was laughing at us. She swears she is going to spank you if I were to have you the minute she left Penang.

Now, I don’t know what to feel anymore and I think I’m not even nervous now.
You better get ready and give me a hint if you are coming any minute ya. We are supposed to work as a team remember? Just make sure you squeeze yourself out as quickly as possible and we shall do fine. Good night for now till mommy see and cuddle you in person…

Mom's feet

2007-07-08T23:55:00.000+08:00

Count down: 1 day to go till 9 Jul

If you really want to know, yes, I'm freaking out.
Tomorrow will be the due date. Tomorrow will be "The Day"!
Gosh...I can't believe this.
Nevertheless, it is still the same thing I wanted to tell you: I can't wait to see you!
But still, the whole process still scare the hell out of me.

Put that aside, this is how mom's feet turn from a size 5 to a size 6 now.
They really swell.
I can't really walk and I can't feel my feet.
I am walking like a penguin now.

I don't know if I can sleep tonight, Pa said he can't.

Such a unique day

2007-07-07T23:06:00.000+08:00

Count down: 2 days to go till 9 Jul

We wanted you to show up today actually as it is such a special day today: 7/7/07!

I did told and persuade you to appear today but it seems like you are still not ready as it is already almost midnight now and you still have not given any sign, unless you plan to give us a surprise after midnight.

I'm nervous actually...

No sign from you at all

2007-07-06T22:30:00.000+08:00

Count down: 3 days to go till 9 Jul

There is no sign of you coming at all. I don't feel anything, not even a single bit.
You are still not ready, aren't you?

We went in for our most likely final check-up. The doctor checked me and she confirm that there is still no sign of you arriving. Your heartbeat are well and stable, I still have not feel any contraction and the pelvic is still shut (zero cervical dilation).
And that would means that we will not meet you anytime soon yet as the doctor also said that you will definitely be overdue, given a period of another 7-10 days before your arrival, and that is still not sure. It's up to you now.

Your Pa was obviously disappointed. We asked the doctor if we could have a C- section to get you out but the doctor was strongly againts it. She claimed that there is no good reason for her to ask me to go into a C-section as everything is good and stable. You are well. Your heartbeats are stable. I am totally well except you still want to stay inside me for a little longer. So, your Pa and I agreed to wait and follow what you want.
You just make sure you push harder anytime you wanted to be out ok. Don't drag too long during the whole process. Give mommy a quick delivery, deal? Deal! :)

Oh, your Pa dreamt of you again. You were playing in front of the fountain and you refused to go to him when he called upon you.

Let's see what else or how many more dreams about you he will have until we meet you :)

It's like we have known you a life time

2007-07-05T23:54:00.000+08:00

Count down: 4 days to go till 9 Jul

Your Pa and I went back to see grandpa & grandma today.
Ya, I know a little risky to go out of island with you coming to the world anytime.
But I didn't feel a single thing or sign that you are on your way. Not even a slight contraction, or any kind of pain that is describe as period cramp or pain.

Ah ma (婆婆）& ah kong （公公）were so delighted to see us. I know. I can tell from that smile on their face. It was so good to see them too. Ah ma cooked mommy's favorite food.
Mommy is happy to see them before you are here as it might be a while till I will see Ah kong again.

Every other people at home commented that I have put on so much weight that I might not lose after delivery. My feet swell one hell of a lot. It's huge.
Believe me baby when I tell you that. My face has turned into double size rounder. What to do? It's all for you and I am willing to do it all over again just for you seriously.

We reached home at 11:30 at night. Will go in for a so call might be my last check up tomorrow until the expected due date given by the doctor-9 Jul. Both of us are so thrill knowing that we are so near the finish line. Your papa has been having a few sleepless nights waiting for your arrival.

And then, that mix feeling comes back and attack me again. I felt emotional again looking at your scan photo given by the doctor thinking I can't believe I'm finally going to meet and hold you in such a short time.
Tears started to slip thru my eyes (I am sure by now that it must be the hormones) and I am thinking how come we are already so in love with you even without having to hold, kiss and meet you in person?
It's like we have known you a life time to have love you this much.

Checking on you

2007-07-04T11:22:00.000+08:00

Count down: 5 days to go till 9 Jul

So many people, friends, families and colleagues of ours had called up asking about your arrival. But I've told them not yet and that we are still waiting eagerly.
You know, there is so much love even way before your arrival, you are being loved.
Your aunt Tisha, grandma Mary, grandpa Gary calls very often to check on you too. They seriously can't wait to meet you in person.

Your papa dreamt that he has contraction and asked mommy to go into delivery soon.
He is so stress out waiting for you!

Mix feelings

2007-06-30T23:35:00.000+08:00

Count down: 10 days to go till 9 Jul

Your uncle Ryan called at 11 at night asking if you are here yet. He thought I am in the hospital waiting by now. I told him not yet. He has called so many times to checked on you.

And suddenly I felt this mix feeling of both happiness and sadness.
It felt like things are suddenly going to change because you are not going to be inside me soon. That this journey with you is coming to an end and that makes me feel so sad.
I sobbed so badly feeling like I'm losing you in a most strange way I ever felt. Could it be the change of hormone, I am not sure.

Your Pa hugged me so tight at the time I need to be comforted the most. He stroke my hair while his eyes are still staring at the TV and told me that he can't stand the song in the sitcom Will & Grace that is at the time playing.

This is such a great comfort for time like this isn't it :)
I'm feeling so much better now....(did I just sounded sarcastic?)

Haagen-Daz again

2007-06-29T23:28:00.000+08:00

Count down: 11 days to go till 9 Jul

Had Haagen-Daz ice-cream again today!
Yes. Wanted you to taste this great ice-cream one more time.
I know you love it as much as I do :)
This time with a gang of close friends. The more the merrier!

What else is there to do when one is waiting for a baby to come?
EAT!! Yoh hooh....

Haagen-Daz

2007-06-27T23:50:00.000+08:00

Count down: 13 days to go till 9 Jul

Had Haagen-Daz ice-cream with Papa today.
I have craved for it for a few days now. Wanted to treat you with the nicest ice-cream before your arrival.
We had Strawberry cheese cake & Belgium chocolate .
Both are so yummy …

Count down begins

2007-06-26T23:43:00.000+08:00

Count down: 14 days to go from the due date give by doctor - 9 Jul

We started the 2 weeks count down from today :)
Doctor told me to stand by, meaning I am on 'anytime' mode, meaning I am a timing bomb from now on.

Can't wait to see you angel!!

Can you hear?

2007-06-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

Pa is trying to hear you ...
Can you hear us?

We will be seeing YOU so soon!

Our little dress

2007-06-16T21:06:00.000+08:00

This little dress you see the bear wearing and the red top on your father's belly belongs to mommy.

Yup, that's right. I wore them decades ago but grandma still keep them for us.

You are going to wear them when you are here. It's up to you after that if you want to keep them for your children.

Pregnancy 101

2007-06-10T22:21:00.000+08:00

Delivery:
This portion of the pregnancy scare the hell out of me!!

Stage One
Early labor: 7-12 hours, intermittent contractions lasting approximately 30-60 seconds
Active labor: 4-5 hours, regular contractions (4-5 minutes apart) lasting approximately 60 seconds
Transition (also known as the badlands of delivery): 1/2-1 1/2 hours, most strenuous contractions (2-5 minutes apart) lasting approximately 90 seconds

Stage Two
Pushing: 1/2-2 hours, resulting in birth of the child

Stage Three
Contractions and pushing, 10-40 minutes, resulting in delivery of the placenta (GROSS!)

Your cot

2007-06-10T12:33:00.000+08:00

Done setting up your cot today.

This will be where you spend most of your time after the first few months of arrival.

You will be sleeping, resting and getting use to the new external in here.

You like it? I like it. It's yellow with Pippa Piggy pillow and sheets.

Pregnancy 101

2007-06-02T22:13:00.000+08:00

SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) :
A preliminary study found that it might be possible to screen newborns for SIDS risk with a hearing test. It has to do with the functioning of the inner ear. Since the inner ear is involved in maintaining infants' breathing during sleep, it is believed that damage to the inner ear during delivery might affect that process.

11 tips to help prevent SIDS:
-Always put babies to sleep on their backs - for naps and at night.
-Place the baby on a firm sleep surface.
-Keep soft objects and loose bedding out of the baby's sleep area.
-Don't smoke while you're pregnant.
-Don't smoke or allow smoking around your baby.
-Don't share your bed or couch with your baby during sleep.
-Consider offering your baby a pacifier at nap time and bedtime.
-Don't let your baby overheat during sleep.
-Avoid products that claim to reduce SIDS risk.
-Don't use home monitors as a way to reduce SIDS risk. (There is no proof that monitors decrease the occurrence of SIDS.)
-Reduce the chance that flat spots will develop on your baby's head by providing "tummy time" when your baby is awake and someone is watching, changing the direction that your baby lies in the crib, and avoiding too much time in car seats, carriers, and bouncers.

Source: Internet

Pregnancy 101

2007-05-25T22:52:00.000+08:00

There is a book by Doc Harvey Karp that claimed that babies are born a trimester sooner because it is the only way our species could survive given the size of our tremendous brains. Had we stayed in to stew just a few months longer to learn a few more things, mothers would not have been able to successfully deliver us to the planet.
And so, it was decided that human babies would come a little earlier and be a little more immature than others, says animal- a giraffe, who can stand and walk and run and do all of these other cool things within seconds of being born.
The functions hardwired into our baby brains are much simpler - keeping the heart beating, sucking, crying, and pooping.
Unlike an animal that requires brawn to survive in the wild, our babies require brains to succeed, so our babies arrive with brains that are as big as they can be and still fit through the birth canal.
Then, during the next three months - or what Dr. Karp calls the "fourth trimester" a baby's brain grows an additional twenty percent in size.

He also argues that some babies are natural self-calmers, meaning they just aren't fussy babies because they have some capability to monitor their own situations and keep themselves from getting over stimulated or bored. These babies are the ones you hear about that adjust well to being outside the womb, that may become fussy but hardly ever break into the red-faced wail, they can be put down to sleep without problems, and stay that way for longer blocks of time. When your baby isn't one of these self-calmers, when your baby needs more time to adjust to being outside your belly, this is when you need to mimic the environment of the womb. You do this by using the 5 S's
As outlined many, many, many, many, many times throughout the book, they are as follows:

Swaddling
Side or Stomach
Shhhh
Swinging
Sucking

And briefly, here's what he claims they do:
Swaddling calms the baby by stopping the flailing arms and legs and focusing the baby's attention. The secret to a successful swaddle is that it is tight and does not allow the baby the opportunity to break free from the bundle. When to stop using the swaddle depends on the baby but Dr. Karp's research shows that most babies are ready to be weaned off swaddling by three to four months of age.

Side or stomach is about positioning the baby so it turns off the Moro (falling) reflex, which the baby experiences when he/she is lying on her back, and turning on the calming reflex, which imitates the baby's position in the uterus. It should be noted, however, that while the side and stomach positions are incredibly soothing, once the baby is calm and put to bed, he/she should only sleep on his/her back.

Shhhhing is a great tool for continuing to trigger the calming reflex.
Shhhhing imitates the whooshing sound your baby heard while snugly packed in your womb. The secret for this tool is that it must be loud enough to pierce through your baby's crying. Translation, the volume of the shhhhing must match the volume of the crying in intensity. It might sound too loud and not comforting at all to us but the baby is used to the loud sounds he/she experienced when camping out in his/her mother's belly. The baby must be confused by the relative quiet into which he/she is born. The good thing is we've got plenty of other noisemakers we can utilize around the house and beyond to help save our voices - vacuum, hair dryer, automobile, static from a radio, etc.

Swinging is another tactic to try to switch on that calming reflex that is built in to your baby. This technique should not be confused with shaken baby syndrome, which can result from abusive shaking of a small baby. This technique uses small, vigorous jiggly movements to calm your baby, again, by mimicking the type of movement the baby experienced in the belly.

And finally, sucking.
Now that you've got the baby's attention and his/her calming reflex has been activated, you can give him/her a nice hearty meal. Or, if they aren't hungry but are just looking for attention - remember, they are used to getting it 24/7 because they were so well taken care of in the womb - you can use a pacifier to help the baby drift into a peaceful rest. Dr. Karp recommends waiting a few weeks before introducing the pacifier to prevent nipple confusion if you are breastfeeding.

Source: Internet

Laundry day

2007-05-19T12:51:00.000+08:00

Today is not an ordinary laundry day.

It is your laundry day.
We washed 2 huge loads of all your mini little clothing.

Some bought new, some hand-me-down.

Your clothes look so cute hanging out there under the bright sun.

Can you believe they made such small clothes, mitten & socks for tiny little human being like you.

Seeing your face

2007-05-12T15:07:00.000+08:00

We see your face today.

Hi there Little person!
You were blinking your eyes.

You were awake.

We see your tiny face, nose, lips and your hand that is covering your chin.
Resting and thinking pose (that's my thot) but not sure what you were doing exactly .

Isn't it amazing how we already can get a glimpse of you when you are still there incubating in me.

Pa & ma are totally so overjoy to see you, not in person yet but this is good enough for now.

If you ask me, same thing I'm telling you: Can't wait to see you!

p/s: till we meet, be well, stay healthy, swim and groove baby

luv always,

mom

Pregnancy 101

2007-05-08T21:48:00.000+08:00

Things I learn from watching Astro today:

....The hormone relaxin softens the bones in the pelvis to allow more room for the baby to descend during delivery.
....The placenta looks like a jellyfish.

Conclusion: Pregnancy is scary business

Things to buy

2007-04-18T21:00:00.000+08:00

Things to buy before your arrival:

milk bottles
pillow & bolster
powder container
sarung
baby detergent
cotton bud/balls
baby cot
mattress
baby clothing
towels
napkin
infant car seat
stroller
baby carrier
bouncer
diaper bag
baby monitor
sterilizer
cot musical mobile
Ikea 4 tier drawer
thermometer
brush
bottle drying rack

Did I miss anything you need?
Hmm....

Pregnancy 101

2007-04-16T21:39:00.000+08:00

Pregnancy facts:
....by the end of your pregnancy, your blood volume will have increased by 30 to 50 %
....by the time you deliver your baby, your uterus will have expanded to about 1,000 times its original size
....by the 16th week of your pregnancy, your lungs are inhaling and exhaling up to 30 percent to 40 percent more air than they did before
....that when your uterus becomes too big to fit within your pelvis and your internal organs are shifted, your center of gravity changes
....by the time your baby is born, the distance around your rib cage will have expanded by 2 to 3 inches
....over the course of your pregnancy, your breasts will account for about 1 to 3 pounds of the weight you gain
....your cervical opening will stretch from zero to 10 centimeters in diameter so you can push your baby out (oh God...my knee feels weak now)

29th weeks

2007-04-14T21:32:00.000+08:00

14th Apr

The Left: This is mom with you inside me.

The right: That is you at the 29th weeks of our journey.

Love that round melon head of yours.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

2007-04-06T16:00:00.000+08:00

I am dedicating this song called 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' to you.
This version sung by Katharine McPhee was playing on the radio on my way to work and it reminded me so much of you.
Don't ask me how as we haven't even met. But the moment I heard this song, you came to my mind. All I can see and think of it's you!
I feel so grateful and blessed to have you.

This is the 1st song your mom is dedicating to you and it will be the song you and papa will dance in on your wedding day if you come out to be a baby girl.
See, I am already picturing you getting married. Isn't that scary.

This is what the songs says:
Somewhere over the rainbow, Way up high.
There's a land that I've heard of,Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow, Skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.

Someday I wish upon a star, (someday i wish upon a star)
Where the clouds are far far far behind me (and wake up where the clouds are far behinnnd me)Wherrrreeee.

All my troubles melt like lemondrops.
Way above the chimney tops, (way above the chimney tops)
That is where you will finnnnnnddddd meeeee.

Somewhere over the rainbow,
Bluebirds fly.
If birds can fly over over the rainbow,Then why, then why can'tttttt IIIIIIIIIIII!
(birds fly high, why can't I)
Ohh wahy ohhh why ohhh why ohhhhh
(if birds fly high, why can't I)
If every little bluebirds fly (if every bird fly)
Over the rainbow,
Somebody tell me why, somebody tell me(if birds fly high, why can't I)
Whyyyyyyyyy cannnn't I.

28th weeks old

2007-04-05T23:18:00.000+08:00

5th Apr

This is how huge you are now at 28th weeks, with Pa and the Lil' Honey bear.

Putting it all behind

2007-03-20T23:27:00.000+08:00

Mommy woke up this morning and decided that is it. I think I have had enough worries with the test result, and keep thinking whether you are going to come out alright has not make these few weeks enjoyable for both of us.

We still have so many months to go with this pregnancy. Mommy suddenly feel so sorry and wanted to apologise for being such a weak person.
How am I going to take good care of you if I am still hanging at a state where I am so vulnerable and so worry all the time? I can't go on living like this.
So, your Papa and I had a good talk and we have promised to each other again that whatever happen to you, we love you anyway. Give you up? Never!

I had Papa promise us that he will love you, love us, love this family even if it is not a perfect one coz this is what family is for. He promised without hesitating. He said he already made that promise long time ago: for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish...remember?

You still mean the world to us and you will always have us with you through out your journey of life no matter what happen to you.
This is our promise to you, with so much love...from mom & dad...

Pregnancy 101

2007-03-18T21:23:00.000+08:00

Did you know...that it takes approximately 80,000 calories to grow a baby.

High chance a baby girl

2007-03-17T22:52:00.000+08:00

Now at 23rd weeks, doctor said that there is a high chance you are a baby girl.
She did not 100% confirm it but she said the chances is higher as she can already see a "hamburger" from the scan.
She will confirm again once she can see a clearer view on our next visit.
So high chance you will be Renee :)

To tell you the truth, we are both still worry about the test result. How could we not? It is not an easy news to bear and since we had decided not to go for further test as a further test still can't be 100% accurate. We will still need to bear with the fact that there is a slight chance that you might be born a down for the whole term of my pregnancy until you are born.

I still cried thinking of it sometimes. Papa has always been calmer from the beginning as if he is so sure that you will be fine and perfect.
Baby, you make mommy so happy and worry sick at the same time.
If only you can just tell me you are well and normal, that will mean the world to us.

Give me a sign that you are alright could you, like maybe by giving me a super kick now...

See you in the morning

2007-03-16T22:50:00.000+08:00

We are going in for check-up again tomorrow.
It's your 5th check-up.
We are both happy tonight and can't wait to see you and what you are doing in there.

Nite nite and see you in the morning.

Googled and read about it

2007-02-17T11:28:00.000+08:00

Here is a link to learn more about the triple test: http://www.americanpregnancy.org/prenataltesting/tripletest.html

Mommy have googled quite a number of site about this and there is a particular one that I feel relief and printed it out and read at it over and over again, refer to the highlighted sentence:

In short, the report says :

The Triple Screen Test is known to have a high percentage of false positive results.

There are 80+% rate of positive test while the baby is unaffected. Of the positive results, 90% of these babies will not have any anomalies. It is important to remember that being at an increase risk does not mean your baby has defect.

Hear that? You are totally fine!!

I know...i just do...

For you are you

2007-02-10T23:44:00.000+08:00

I received a phone call from our doctor at work few days back. I listened to every single words she told me so carefully and my body felt numb all over. I know I have heard whatever I need to hear because she has made it sounded so clear but I asked her to repeat everything she just told me again anyway.

My head swirl faster and faster "Kai Ling, your triple test result has came out, and it has indicated that you have a high chance of carrying a down syndrome baby. What you can do now is to come in to do another test to confirm the result, the result has a higher accuracy compare to the Triple test.. however I'm not saying that your baby is affected now, triple test is only an indication that a further test is needed, it is not a result...." her voice went blank. I cleared my throat and my mind just went totally blank. I can't think of anything. I then asked if this is anything to do with my diet but she confirmed that this has nothing to do with food or anything. It is genetic, hormonal & etc.

I took a deep breath, did not call or tell anyone, went back to my work place and finished my forecast loading. Stop by the hospital to collect the test result on my way home and read at it over and over again hoping that the doctor interpret it wrongly, hoping that I am wiser than the doctor if I could find a mistake from that piece of paper.

I then called Pa and told him about it. He sounded calm but think that you will be fine. He wanted to look at the result himself. We spent the night looking and calculating at the possibilities from the report using his engineering calculation.
I finally broke into tears and cry. I am so worry about you. I keep thinking what have went wrong and how are you doing in there? Are you suffering or do you feel just fine. This is my first pregnancy and we have been full of joy all this while until this news came unexpectedly. I don't know what to think seriously. I keep thinking I just want you to be well, I don't care what I have to go thru.

This morning, we went in to do our monthly check up and our doctor explain everything to us again. She encouraged us to do another test, and if the result also indicated positive down's baby, then we can decide to terminate this pregnancy. The doctor just can't tell by the normal usual scanning. Thru the normal scan, everything looked fine. You were active, you grow well, you are doing your thing, you swim you kick and you almost seems like normal. You are normal!

I mean look at you from this scan, you look so beautiful.
The result indicated that the chances of you being affected is 1 out of 210 babies, which means the chances are still quite good that you will be just fine like other normal baby.
we have faith and believe that you will be fine so we told the doctor that we have decided not to carry on with further test and we will not terminate this pregnancy whatever it may turn out to be.

Pa is calmer. I still panic. I still cry. But somehow behind my mind and at a corner in my heart, I feel and know that you will be fine, that you will do great, and because we have decide not to do any test, that will also means that we will need to live with that ambiguity for the rest of this pregnancy. I don't know if I will be fine for a long time, I mean for so many more months but I will definitely try.

Pa & Ma talked about it and have also decided not to tell our families members and friends to avoid all the unnecessary worries specially grandpas & grandmas when no one can actually do anything now except to have faith in God and rest everything in His hands.

And as for you, please be well and strive harder for life baby, do it for you, for me and for Pa. Do it for the 3 of US.
I promise I will be strong even though I still can't fully except the truth.
Please always know that we will never choose to terminate you, to disown you for you are you...

Can you hear?

2007-01-20T21:44:00.000+08:00

Hey angel, you are now at 16th week and we were told that you have started to hear sounds and voices.
Your papa had started to sing you songs. Lots of different songs and lullaby.
He kisses you good nite too.
I'm sure you could hear and feel us.

Bath tub

2007-01-18T20:14:00.000+08:00

We bought you a bath tub today. It looks so comfy that I can't wait to see you taking your first bath with your duckling in there.
I am sure you like your tub.

Enjoying yourself

2007-01-13T23:12:00.000+08:00

The check-up went well. You have grown quite a bit at 14th weeks, it's amazing how you are always moving non-stop and I do not feel you move at all.
Your heart beat it's like the drum beat and my all time favorite is you doing back stroke in mommy's pond.
You were so cute that you make me lost my patience to see you. I can't wait for another 6 months, that's too long…and you were lying down so comfortably that we can tell you were so into enjoying yourself that you were crossing your legs and one arm behind your head. what are you actually doing?
You even waved at us at one point, you were saying hi…

Doctor still can't see wether you are a baby boy or girl today.
So, you can still be Nathan or Renee...it doesn't matter. I love you both!

I dreamt of you

2007-01-10T22:09:00.000+08:00

I dreamt of you last night.
I dreamt that you are a baby girl. A baby girl that has mommy's face and nothing like Papa, totally looking nothing like him in the dream.
You looked like you are already 3 – 4 months old. I told your Papa about the dream and he was a little offended that you look nothing like him...he said dream is just a dream, it is always opposite plus you can't trust a dream.
But you know what, whoever you may look like, me or your dad, we love you anyway, for you are YOU!

Papa not daddy

2007-01-10T20:47:00.000+08:00

Your dad want you to call him papa instead of daddy.
He says he prefers the classic "papa'.
So papa he will be.

Names

2007-01-06T15:38:00.000+08:00

We are so excited about going to see you again in 7 more days…
We had started counting our days.
Doctor said that we should be able to know if you are a baby boy or a baby girl by then.

We had came out with names:
Baby Boy: Nathan James Tay ( Pronounce as Nay-than: Meaning "giver". He (God) has given in Hebrew. In the Old Testament this is the name of a prophet and also a son of King David)
Baby girl: Renee Melanie Tay ( Pronounce as Re-Nay: Meaning "Re-born")

I told your dad that I can't wait to see you doing the back stroke in my pool again, it's relaxing the way you do it and that makes me clam and happy.

Love and see ya…
Mom

A quiet Christmas

2006-12-25T15:58:00.000+08:00

This is a very quite Christmas for me and your dad as we didn't go any where nor had any kind of celebration. But I feel happy and relieve to have a week off from work. I need this break to just rest and do nothing, e.g. to just eat and sleep, nothing else. I haven't really got any chance to do this ever since I had you. Your dad took mommy back to grandma's place.

I was thinking what kind of Christmas present I would get you next year and the many years to come.
I would want to make a rule here, clear and loud: that you must get me and your dad Christmas present every year, with no excuse. It can be anything from you, a self cook meal or anything you come out with should make our day. Even your smile, huge wide horsey smile is counted.

Our Doctor

2006-12-12T16:01:00.000+08:00

Today we decided to switch doctor.

From Dr. Suresh to Dr. Yeoh
Reason:
1. I don't feel very comfortable with a male gynaecologist
2. I have heard some bad comment from colleague about him

This is not the first time I meet up with Dr. Yeoh but it is your first. It was rather a pleasant check-up today. She told us that you are 10 weeks old now. You are doing great, that you are coping well and that just make us so happy.
We hear your heart beat and saw you clearer today. You were again, very active, moving constantly, swimming back stroke and stretching. You look so care-free in there. We can see your heart beating, stronger this time. And it is such joy to see and hear you again, everything I had to go thru is all worth it. I feel content. All dizziness, the feeling of discomfort is nothing now.

The moment I saw you, I know I am going to love you for a long time, and I really mean a LONG TIME. I never know I could feel this way.

Listen to your heartbeat

2006-11-28T12:13:00.000+08:00

We saw you today kiddo.
You were so tiny and moving constantly.
You are in a shape that looks like a worm, bigger on the head and small on the tail. Ya, you have a tail. The tail will then slowly grow and change into legs.
Isn't it strange how God created us?
We can see and hear your heart beating.
It is such an amazing moment to hear you for the first time.
Your dad is so delighted to hear you. We both are.

Till we meet again

2006-11-20T15:39:00.000+08:00

I am going to the doctor another 2 weeks from now.

And we are only going to see you again after about a month. This is such a long wait.
The first time I saw you were on the 7 of Nov. I really can't wait to see how you are doing. Doctor told us that we shall be able to hear your heartbeat by then. We are so thrill and can't wait for that.
Till we see you again, hope you have fun in mommy's womb.
Relax, swim and do what ever you want.

Love you,
Mom

Someone sweet

2006-11-19T13:56:00.000+08:00

Your aunt Gigi from Alor Setar called to find out how you are doing again.
She has been calling very frequently to check on us. Isn't she sweet?
You must give her many big fat hugs and loads of kisses when you first meet her ok.

What you've turn me into?

2006-11-18T14:28:00.000+08:00

I felt dizzy and nausea at work today, like I can really see the stars in front of me.
Tell me what you are doing in there as I seriously are dying to know what you are doing that are causing me to feel all these wierd feelings I'm feeling now. And what exactly you are up to that need so much food and energy that you have basically turn me into an eating machine.
I feel weak, I feel sleepy, I feel so hungry most of the time but I hate most that you make me hate all the food I'm eating now. I has always love food and 'Munching queen' is the title your dad specially gave but now seeing him putting all sort of food in his mouth just make me feel more yucky and helpless.
How can everyone eats like a cow while every single smell from the food I smell just freak me out and tickle every single nerves in my whole body.

I am basically a very weird woman now. You won't love me if you see me now as I seldom feel like speaking, if I have time I will mostly sleep for hours. That is the only one thing that have not change. But if I feel good, I will be my normal noisy self again for a while.

But I have to tell you that your dad has been such a darling during this time. He has help me thru with loads and loads of stuffs and things, house work, cooks for us, take good care of us and etc...
He deserved so much hugs and kisses from us for that :)

I will definitely not know how to go thru all these without him. Just pray that he doesn't have business trip coming up too soon. I seriously need him by our side during this phase of the pregnancy.

Can you believe I'm a mom now?

2006-11-07T16:38:00.000+08:00

The news sort of shocked us, even though I knew we were trying but for some reason we were under the impression that it would take a longer time for us to have you.

I don't know since when you are here with me.
And now, from 6/11/06 22:30pm onwards, it is the truth and fact that you are existed here with me, you are inside me. I still could not believe the whole idea of you growing inside me.
I have always known that I wanted you.
And now, from this moment onwards, i will always have you with me in my life.
We are family. Isn't it amazing?

I cried when I got the news. I can't fight joy. I feel joy all over me. I feel so blessed.
I'm going to be a mommy soon. I'm a mama now!!

If there is only one thing i could tell you now, it will be mommy can't wait to see you... !